Do you wanna see FAT MUSCLY MAN CUNTS SHOVING their heads between each others legs
and battering each other like bulls who can't run properly because
their thighs are too big, so they trot along like full balled grunt monsters?!?!
Yes boss, we're a coupla weeks into the Rugby World Cup and there's been 2 or 3 good games. I've watched most of them, at least in part, and so far it's not nearly as exciting and interesting as the endless commercial gym punditry and retired chunk bloke spin would have you believe.
England VS Wales was good, Wales Vs Fiji yesterday also wasn't bad and Japan Vs South Africa was good. The rest of the games have been varying shades of dull with results that were so predictable in advance there's no point betting on them. Yes boss, the main and much commented upon problem with Rugby as a game is there's not enough countries who give a shit, and so most games are predictable work outs by good or excellent teams against rank amateur teams thrown together to make up the numbers. For sure the gap betwixt and between is narrowing, but for now the group stage at least, is not much of a spectacle.
Foolishly, I was persuaded by my brother to go and see one of these NO HOPER games just over the way in the newly refurbished Ikea stadium in the Grizzled Bitch Olympic Park
New Zealand Vs Namibia
£125?!?!
Yes boss, £125 to watch a second string New Zealand side respectfully piss all over Namibia. 80 minutes - more than a quid a fucking minute to watch these demented CAVEMEN batter and bash one another in pursuit of stupid oval ball that doesn't even bounce straight
?!?!?
All told, it was a strange and underwhelming LIVE sport experience: Yes boss, watching the game under the newly inverted illuminati pyramid lights is much like watching HD TV. You've got the flawless pitch and the shine, perfect sound and the sheen of the colour. Everything is perfect in HYPER COLOUR RICH AD SURROUND!!!
HYPER COLOUR RICH AD SURROUND!!!
with a shit atmosphere.
Yes boss, there was more going on amongst the Super Dry (TM) zombie hordes in the nearby Westfield shopping center than in that flat pack stadium. We're talking 60,000 indifferent 'fans' who mostly support neither team mostly sitting in silence watching BIG and EFFECTIVE chunks of meat run into BIG and UN-EFFECTIVE chunks of meat. The only moment of any palpable excitement was when Namibia were pushing and then scoring a try. The rest of the time it was simply dull and un-entertaining.
This is the problem with professional level sport. When it's a dull mis-match there's ABSOLUTELY nothing to see and no entertainment to be had - you're far better off watching Sunday League Rugby for free...
The only best thing about seeing the game LIVE, was I didn't have to tolerate quite so many godawful Rugby based adverts, idents and that horrendous fraud Paloma Faith singing 'World In Union' (RUGBY IS THE WORLD BATTERING SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER!!!).
On one of these 'idents' you've got some company called SEE or BSE with this orangutan sat on the pitch looking confused!?!?
Imagine that concept meeting in the ad agency on that one?!?!
'OK. Anybody with any ideas?!?!'
'I'm thinking an orangutan sitting on the posts looking confused in an empty stadium will send out a POWERFUL and CONTEMPORARY image!!!'
'Mmmm, then what? WHAT'S THE VIBE??? WHAT'S THE FULL CONCEPT?!?!?'
'Then he goes and sits in the changing room looking all long faced, simple and retarded?!?!'
'BRILLIANT!!! The budget's £300,000 LET'S GO MAKE HISTORY!!!'
As for Englands chances???
I'll be betting they'll loose to Australia on Saturday and exit the tournament early. Despite the AD hype and jingoistic expectation gathered together by lots of home soil marketing, I reckon the best this mediocre England team can hope to do, is do as has done the various mediocre English football team many times before.
Disappoint, self sabotage and melt away when it really matters.
Let's see if I'm wrong...
