I watched this program with my Mum & Dad
Yes boss, if it'd had been solely down to me, I'd have opted for David Blaine magic jim jamming around MAGIC with celebrities on Channel 4. Celebrities nearly always RUIN a perfectly good program, but if David Blaine's involved, I'll watch it because he does some clever shit...
Anyway...
My Mum and Dad wanted to watch The Duke, and I'd imagine they imagined I'd like it to, seeing as though I have a GOLD Duke Of Edinburghs Award 'presented to me' by The Duke himself (That's another story I don't have the patience to recount here)
and so i went with it...
WHY NOT LET'S SEE JUST HOW FAT AND SLICK THE ROYAL PROPOGANDA MACHINE IS THESE DAYS?!?!
So...
The essence of this program was
PROPOR GANDA
PROPER FUCKING GANDA!!!
GANDHI
GA GA
WOOF WOOF!!!
In particular the SHOVING of a BIG FAT ROSEY, RED, CLEARLY EXPERIENCED TONGUE, DEEP INTO THE NEVER SEEN SHIT CAKED 'BRITISH' ROYAL ANUS!!!!
Yes boss, the PROFESSED aim of this feast of ANAL RAMPAGE was to celebrate the selfless work The Duke Of Edinburgh has done for all us dumb aimless fucking plebs in the 60 years of his Duke Of Edinburghs Award scheme?!?!?! But what it in fact was, were an hour of Phillip Schofield inserting his WEASELY THIN FACE UP THE ASSES of both the Duke and any other Royal he could get near, whereupon he set about flipping and wiggling his demonic FAT tongue like a VIBRATOR DURACELL BUNNY!!!?!
The fawning went throughout and it was FUCKING NAUSEATING!!!
OH WHAT A WONDERFUL MAN!!! OH WHAT A SERVANT!!! OH WHAT A FATHER!!! OH WHAT A SHARP WIT!!! OH WHAT A HERO!!! OH HOW SELFLESS!!!OH WHAT A HUSBAND!!!
It was RELENTLESS and ASTOUNDING...!!?!/!!
And it got no worse than the final scene wherein Schoffers got his own Duke Of Edinburgh pin for wing walking on a fucking plane...?!?! (oh how BEAUTIFUL it would have been if weasel face TONGUE SLABBER had fallen off!!!)
Yes boss, there was Schoffers standing by an enormous royal fucking fireplace with his long SWOLLEN SLABBERING tongue itching for some more HOT ROYAL ASS!!! The Duke wandered in, knowing already he is BORED OUT OF HIS TITS!!! He gives Schoffers the gong, and then tries to fuck off as soon afterwards as possible, so he can go fondle some horses or his wifes sister. Schoffers tries to TRULY AND DEEPLY INSERT that tongue a few goodbye LICKS and half manages it, then The Duke is finally off...
Yes boss, there was Schoffers standing by an enormous royal fucking fireplace with his long SWOLLEN SLABBERING tongue itching for some more HOT ROYAL ASS!!! The Duke wandered in, knowing already he is BORED OUT OF HIS TITS!!! He gives Schoffers the gong, and then tries to fuck off as soon afterwards as possible, so he can go fondle some horses or his wifes sister. Schoffers tries to TRULY AND DEEPLY INSERT that tongue a few goodbye LICKS and half manages it, then The Duke is finally off...
But does this any of this meek and embarrassing fawning really impress The Duke?!??!
OF COURSE IT FUCKING DOESN'T!!! NOTHING A PLEB COULD DO WOULD HE IS FUCKING GOD!!!
Furthermore, you know that the minute he finally shakes Schoffers off, and the doors close behind the SLABBERING tongue he says to his footmen:
'DON'T EVER LET THAT GROVELLING LITTLE CUNT NEAR ME AGAIN!!!'
Yes boss, if you want to know what it's REALLY like living in a country like North Korea, don't watch well meaning Netflix docs, watch this program...
http://www.itv.com/hub/when-phillip-met-prince-philip-60-years-of-the-duke-of-edinburgh-awards/2a4464a0001
