TOOT TOOT!!!

Well...

I'M HERE IN HOSPITALSITU!!! READY TO GET 'INTENSIVE CARED UP!!!'

Yes boss, I'm on another medical trial - a short one.

This one is all about schizophrenia drugs and sleep...

Specifically the effects of ZEP-380232 (that's not its real name). They're gonna split it, or something, into 2 and try if that way it allows schizophrenics to sleep better. Apparently they bang this stuff into them now, but it comes with side effects including muscle aches, and twitchiness, and sleep loss, and this isn't the sort of shit schizophrenics need added to their already overflowing plate! And so they're trying this new way to see if it makes things better - at least that's what they've told me...!?!?

So...

First part of this was wearing a SLEEP WATCH this last week. Yes boss, it might look like a retarded grey 80s digital, but the thing currently on my wrist costs $1600 and it's been recording my every waking and sleeping hour - FUCK KNOWS HOW?!?! Movement apparently?!?! I've been chatting away to it, we get on OK! But with its insistence I'm in bed by 12 midnight I'm beginning to think  IT'S RUNNING MY LIFE!!!

Today my sleep gets monitored even more closely...

Yes boss, tonight I'm gonna have electrodes attached all over my head and body, a tube up my noose, 2 respiratory straps on my body and an all night canula sneaking out blood as I sleep - all this in a small room with CCTV

FULL ON SLEEP HYSTERIA!!!

A VERY QUIET NIGHT!!!

It's quite exciting...

Only if I pass tonights tests do I get called back next week to take the drug and then the placebo and have 2 more nights of INTENSE MONITORISATION!!!

But I'm not even guaranteed to get my night of WIRED isolation tonight until they check my magic watch for good sleep behaviour and my piss test. 

Yes boss, I had a friend over smoking pure grass joints in my room on Monday and so that might have got into my system and stymied everything. This guy used to grow weed industrially in Spain. He only ever has good shit. He smokes it neat without tobacco - he's so picky, he even uses fucking filters. The room stank of it for the next 2 days and he only had a coupla wee small ones - let's see if any of it passively aggressively made it's way into my system...?

Fingers crossed not, or else I go home without any £$£$£ candy!

Anyway...

I may or may not keep you updated...

BYE FOR NOW!!!

HAIR TODAY!!!

Oh God..!?!?

I'm betting you wished you didn't wake up this morning...?!?! IT'S SO TERRIBLE!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! THE WORLDS GONNA END!!!

HAIR MAN IS IN POWER!!!


Yes boss, the unthinkable has happened. An 8 bit spiv willy with a list of bankruptcies, self agrandisments, and sexual assaults, topped off with thin ice cream hair has got the top job in the world...?!?!!

SHOCK HORROR!!!


Now, I know there's a lot of fretting about this, but I really don't think there's anything in particular to worry about...

No boss, for a start I don't think the President really runs a damn thing - he or she is just a puppet figurehead.

And for seconds, most of Hair Mans ridiculous FEAR AND THREAT!!! hyperbole is just that.

Yes boss...

THERE WILL BE NO FUCKING WALL!!!

HE'S NOT GOING TO GET A SPECIAL PROSECUTOR ON HILARY!!!

HE WILL NOT RESURRECT AMERICAN INDUSTRY!!!

HE WON'T LOOK AFTER THE VETERANS!!!

AND HE WILL NOT MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!

HAIR MAN is just another lying little shit, saying what'll get him attention to gain publicity, to get IDIOTS jumping up and down (in favour or against) in order to get elected...

THIS IS WHAT POLITICIANS DO!!! They lie and misinform and exaggerate in the run up to an election, then once they're in, they do next to NONE of what they said they'd do, and they blame Congress or The Senate or £$£$ or I$I$ or their Auntie Fiona in Delaware beating them as a kid...


Mr Cool BRIGHT NEW ERA President Obama said he was going to close Guantanamo in the run up to his first election...

REMEMBER THAT!?!?

THAT HELLHOLE IS STILL FUCKING OPEN 8 YEARS LATER!!!

How kept to was that fucking promise...!?!?


Yes boss, if there's one thing that's characterised Trump as a man throughout his life (before he even thought about becoming a politician) it's changing the terms of a deal, lying and misleading, ducking and diving and PLAYING THE FUCKING GAME!!! And so what will happen now is that very little will change except more of the same American Impreialism dressed up as SAVING THE WORLD!!!


So....

NOTHING IS NEW!

IT'S SIMPLY RONALD REAGAN ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

CALM DOWN!!!

The show will go on

get back in your fucking seats

and keep enjoying the ride...!

FLIM FLAM CHATTER

Oh jesus...


When I was in Italy in September the most common thing I was asked by all and sundry was what I thought of Brexit...? Did I vote? How did I vote? What did it mean? What was happening as a result?

I'd respond by making a gesture with my hand like a chattering mouth and saying something to the effect of

'10 years of meaningless chatter and lawyers, civil servants and politicians getting rich, that's what's gonna happen...'


And I'd be amazed if I'm wrong...


Yes boss, today we find out that bunch of cretins in parliament need to have a vote on Brexit now?!?! Apparently a national wide referendum with a marginally clear result isn't enough to make a clear democratic decision in this country!?!?

What a crock of shit!


This will of course be seen by many who see themselves as being progressive and liberal as being a WONDERFUL DAY!!!

GREAT NEWS!!!

But, note that people WHOOPING AND CHEERING!!! this idea are celebrating a precedent that means any referendum now means

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!

Yes boss, is giving 600 dicks in parliament a vote over a millions mass made decision something to celebrate?!!?!

REALLY?!!?

WELL CHEERED LIBERAL PROGRESSIVES!! WHAT GREAT ADVANCEMENTS YOU BRING US!!!


For what it's worth my opinion on Brexit at the time, and now, was I don't really give a shit either way. I can see arguments on both sides and I don't and have never voted so what does it matter to me...?!?!

But I'm certainly of the opinion that the decision made in the referendum was BALLSY!!!

and I like BALLSY!!!



All this crying after the event and throwing toys out of the cot by people who lost is however just

SOUR, LAME BAD LOOSING

nothing more

and I wouldn't mind at all if it stopped...