TOOT TOOT!!!

Well...

I'M HERE IN HOSPITALSITU!!! READY TO GET 'INTENSIVE CARED UP!!!'

Yes boss, I'm on another medical trial - a short one.

This one is all about schizophrenia drugs and sleep...

Specifically the effects of ZEP-380232 (that's not its real name). They're gonna split it, or something, into 2 and try if that way it allows schizophrenics to sleep better. Apparently they bang this stuff into them now, but it comes with side effects including muscle aches, and twitchiness, and sleep loss, and this isn't the sort of shit schizophrenics need added to their already overflowing plate! And so they're trying this new way to see if it makes things better - at least that's what they've told me...!?!?

So...

First part of this was wearing a SLEEP WATCH this last week. Yes boss, it might look like a retarded grey 80s digital, but the thing currently on my wrist costs $1600 and it's been recording my every waking and sleeping hour - FUCK KNOWS HOW?!?! Movement apparently?!?! I've been chatting away to it, we get on OK! But with its insistence I'm in bed by 12 midnight I'm beginning to think  IT'S RUNNING MY LIFE!!!

Today my sleep gets monitored even more closely...

Yes boss, tonight I'm gonna have electrodes attached all over my head and body, a tube up my noose, 2 respiratory straps on my body and an all night canula sneaking out blood as I sleep - all this in a small room with CCTV

FULL ON SLEEP HYSTERIA!!!

A VERY QUIET NIGHT!!!

It's quite exciting...

Only if I pass tonights tests do I get called back next week to take the drug and then the placebo and have 2 more nights of INTENSE MONITORISATION!!!

But I'm not even guaranteed to get my night of WIRED isolation tonight until they check my magic watch for good sleep behaviour and my piss test. 

Yes boss, I had a friend over smoking pure grass joints in my room on Monday and so that might have got into my system and stymied everything. This guy used to grow weed industrially in Spain. He only ever has good shit. He smokes it neat without tobacco - he's so picky, he even uses fucking filters. The room stank of it for the next 2 days and he only had a coupla wee small ones - let's see if any of it passively aggressively made it's way into my system...?

Fingers crossed not, or else I go home without any £$£$£ candy!

Anyway...

I may or may not keep you updated...

BYE FOR NOW!!!