Friday 13 November 2015

JIHADI JOHN IS DEAD!!! BOMBED IN THE HEAD!!!



So today, we have the ENTIRELY spurious idea that yet another TERRORIST MASTERMIND has been neatly killed in the field of war without any possibility of proveable evidence.

Yes boss, we know this because that beacon of truth and honesty The Pentagon SAYS SO!!!

Well, I'll be damned!

Here's what I think has happened.

Jihadi John NEVER EXISTED!!!

No boss, for me, he was a made up and manipulated boogey man, much like Bin Laden who we all have to HATE and be SCARED of so the war machine can rumble on wherever it pleases.

Russia have however recently entered the swamp conflict in Syria and by all reports they seem to be FAR better at mopping up NICELY BACKED and funded mercenaries sometimes known as ISIS. ISIL, Islamic State or IS than the US are...!?!?

Yes boss, all told, The US with the worlds BIGGEST military are amazingly SHIT at mopping up anyone at all aren't they??? Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria. They always manage to have endless ineffective wars they don't win conclusively that roll on for ages making TRILLIONS for US arms contractors and Private Militias?!?!

As SHIT as the US are at effectively winning conflicts, their Military BUSINESS is sure as shit the BIGGEST in the world!!!

I wonder if that's a coincidence...!?!?

Anyway...

All of a sudden Russia has entered the Syrian war fray and The US DON'T LIKE IT!!!

No boss, THEY'RE PISSED!!! HOW DARE THE RUSKIES SHOW UP AND START THROWING THEIR HEAVY WEAPONS AT THE BAD GUYS?!?!?

And so the US had to sieze the narrative and start looking EFFECTIVE!!!

PRONTI FUCKING QUA!!!

'How can we look effective?'

'Errrr. Bomb Russia?'

'No. Not just yet.'

'Errrr'

'Have we got any cutouts we can pretend to kill with no evidence?!? Like Bin Laden?'

'Well, there's this HEAD CUTTER creation the UK are into called Jihadi John. We could pretend to kill him. 'Killing' him will make us look EFFECTIVE. Putin hasn't got him! We'll look GREAT IN THE UK MARKET!!! PEOPLE'LL LOVE OUR HEAVY WEAPONS!!!'

'SET THE CONTROLS FOR THE HEART OF THE JOHN!!!'






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